The electronic bus signs were out of order today. So instead of flashing expensively with their usual message of “Refer to timetables in bus stop”, they had been changed in order to flash expensively “This service is out of order. Please refer to timetables in bus stop”. Do you ever need proof that the world isn’t right? There it is, right there.
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Likewise the current advertising campaign from Lottery scratchcards where they seem to be implying that the scratchcards would make ideal Christmas gifts. Let me tell you right now, if I received a scratchcard as a Christmas gift from anyone, it would provoke even a mild-mannered character like me into a fit of homicidal, tinsel-strangling gall the likes of which this town has never seen. You might as well hand someone an empty envelope and just say “happy Christmas. You didn’t win a present this year”. Though maybe that’s to do with the fact the Monkey Kettle Syndicate still hasn’t even won a tenner in nine months’ of playing the Lottery! What are the odds on that??
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I’ve recently very much enjoyed reading the second volume of “Luton Haiku”, a compilation produced by the incredible people at Luton-based Clod Magazine. The magazine is engagingly bizarre, a mix of surreal articles, in-jokes, and edutainment (#22 has a special pull-out section on the subject of Symmetry!), while the book of Haiku (which I purchased when supporting Mr John Hegley at my last ever poetry gig, dontcherknow!) is fascinating. Possibly even more entertaining than the haiku are the little commentaries at the back of the book which explain the content to non-Lutonians. Hundreds of little poetic windows into a very different (but nearby) town. As usual, I wish I’d thought of it first, and now I can’t. A brilliant idea.
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Okay then. So. Coming soon... it’s December, it’s Matthew, it must be... yes, it is! End Of Year List time!
(breaks out the party poppers)
Monday, 5 December 2011
Poke Scratchings - Mon Dec 5
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2 comments:
Odds of winning nothing in the National Lottery after 9 months of playing: 47.3%.
A friend of mine was at a work Christmas party with a socially awkward guy from the office who nobody wanted to talk to. He opened his £5 Secret Santa present to find that he'd been given five lottery scratch cards. Not only were they losing cards, but the giver had already scratched them before putting them in the envelope.
Haha! That's some savage festivity!! :-D
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