Crime is down, the football team’s doing well enough, and the City’s longest slide has re-opened - truly this is going to be the one, comrades! The Milton Keynes Summer Of Love I’m always hoping for but never receiving! 2009 – time for the Harmony! ;-) *
The first houses are now on sale in that new estate to the north of Stantonbury – and it looks like it’s called Heathley Chase now. I could have sworn it was called something else before, though looking back quickly through previous blogging I can’t find owt. Maybe I’m thinking of Redhouse Park, which is much further along. Anyway. I’m sure they’ll be competing in MonKeyVision 2013 before too long!
Another development undergoing yet further buildage is the All-New All-Star MK Coachway – which now doesn’t look like seeing the light of day for another year! Still… as long as it’s good when it’s done – Campbell Park is actually much easier for me to walk to with a rucksack on, so I’m in no rush.
Also while I’m ambling the redways I might remember to check out the garden of the Bird Woman Of Heelands – that’s on my route to MADCAP. Heh… wonder if she’s on Twitter? Boom! Zeitgeisty!
I was considering a night out at Opus some time this summer, they've had some good stuff on recently. Though perhaps not though, eh...
Remember the political shenanigans last Spring with the resignation of the MK Council Chief Executive? Well, they’ve only just appointed a new one, almost a year later!
The OU turned 40 – but don’t let them know the Citizen used the Old Brand Logo!! People have been sacked for less!
Not long after I was gently musing on our nearby neighbours in Luton, there’s more mileage in the whole hilarious Northampton-somehow-begrudge-us-something saga – the new film (written by the ace Armando Ianucci!) “In The Loop”, set in Northampton, is too non-mainstream to be shown there. But… heh heh… we've got it. Hardy har har. For probably just a week at least, knowing Cineworld.
Though sadly they have the last laugh. (shakes head) Man, that smarts.
But hey hey hey what's this – do they have their own casino??? I can’t work out if this is great news or fantastic news! I think it could be both... unless you live in Campbell Park, I suppose. Still... Credit Crunch(TM) be darned.
And finally... Be A Living Book? I am officially intrigued! I wonder what sort of book I am. Something by Martin Millar, probably. Or a Mr Man book.
* This HAS involved me ignoring many of the BAD news stories this month. Like this one, for example… And the fact we’ll all be dead of Swine Flu by the summer hols… But STILL (stares out into the sunshine)…
Wednesday, 29 April 2009
Tuesday, 28 April 2009
Five Points - Tue Apr 28
This entry kept wanting to turn into some kind of a list of vague thoughts about stuff, cryptic musings about other stuff and general observations about yet further stuff. So in the end I just gave up and let it be what it wanted to be. Take from it any life lessons or karmic doctrine you wish.
1. While a four year old girl may enjoy a football match, it is a sad indictment of the quality of said match that both she and her imminently thirty-four year old uncle had the same Most Exciting Moment: when a pigeon landed in the penalty area and started eating calmly away at the grass seed while the game carried on around it.
2. It’s not even that Life Is Short, on reflection. It’s that Life Can Be Impassively Random. And it’s one thing to know this philosophically and another entirely to know it in your heart.
3. Is it just me, or has the CMK Bus Station actually been built the wrong way round? They’ve got all those destination points for buses and coaches out the back where traffic doesn’t go, and yet opposite the station there’s like one bay for all those MK Metro buses to get jammed up in. You go to most other towns – even Bletchley – and it’s the other way round.
4. Sometimes the beautiful meadow is actually a swamp.
5. Rediscovering an old album Nikki burnt for me years ago: the “Club Anthems” compilation by Ballboy. What would today no doubt be dubbed “tweecore”... well (to paraphrase The Simpsons) if overly romantic monologues about love and how brilliant space is, in a soft Scots accent over lo-fi shoegazy guitars is twee... well then, twee me up. (wipes tear from corner of eye)
Right. I’m off to give blood and then ring some church bells. How’s that for making the most of life? ;-)
1. While a four year old girl may enjoy a football match, it is a sad indictment of the quality of said match that both she and her imminently thirty-four year old uncle had the same Most Exciting Moment: when a pigeon landed in the penalty area and started eating calmly away at the grass seed while the game carried on around it.
2. It’s not even that Life Is Short, on reflection. It’s that Life Can Be Impassively Random. And it’s one thing to know this philosophically and another entirely to know it in your heart.
3. Is it just me, or has the CMK Bus Station actually been built the wrong way round? They’ve got all those destination points for buses and coaches out the back where traffic doesn’t go, and yet opposite the station there’s like one bay for all those MK Metro buses to get jammed up in. You go to most other towns – even Bletchley – and it’s the other way round.
4. Sometimes the beautiful meadow is actually a swamp.
5. Rediscovering an old album Nikki burnt for me years ago: the “Club Anthems” compilation by Ballboy. What would today no doubt be dubbed “tweecore”... well (to paraphrase The Simpsons) if overly romantic monologues about love and how brilliant space is, in a soft Scots accent over lo-fi shoegazy guitars is twee... well then, twee me up. (wipes tear from corner of eye)
Right. I’m off to give blood and then ring some church bells. How’s that for making the most of life? ;-)
Sunday, 26 April 2009
The Crucible (review) - Sun Apr 26
When I was thirteen or fourteen or summink, we had a school trip to the "Nash" (as we called it then, ostensibly to mock the kind of Theatre Studies luvvies we later became!) to see a production of “The Crucible”. I can remember nothing at all about it except that I found it painfully dull and overlong, and for many a year since it’s remained in my head as a paradigm of how even as wonderful an art form as the Stage Play can end up as a plodding, unsmiling snoozefest in the wrong hands.
So you can probably estimate my sense of foreboding as I arrived at MADCAP for the latest Pepper’s Ghost production: “The Crucible”. I’d had a long hard day and a tiring week, and I was about to sit for three hours – two whole football games’ worth of time! – and watch one of the few plays I have ever not enjoyed. It's therefore a source of particular pleasure to me to be able to write this review, because it has a happy ending. The production was really really good! (beams with relief)
I dunno if it was my impatient teenage metabolism or just a duff rendition some twenty years ago, but the Pepper’s Ghost “Crucible” turned out to be an engaging play about Real People embroiled in the mass hysteria of – literally – the Witch Hunt mentality. It’s as relevant to society now as it was when Arthur Miller wrote it in the climate of McCarthyism, and a shrewd choice for this always impressive MK theatre bunch to take on – doubly so with its presence on the GCSE syllabus! ;-)
I could see one or two of the GCSE kids start to fidget a bit near the end – even in a good production like this I still think it’s overlong – but it’s testament to both the direction and the vast number of actors involved (21, with no doubling!!) that almost all of them still seemed to be paying attention. Interestingly on the night I saw it some overflow seating had been placed behind the area where the action was taking place, up on the old proscenium stage – and because this was full of the GCSE kids and their notepads, it looked a lot like a jury watching over proceedings from a lofty vantage point! Very apt.
With 21 actors involved, it was like a Who’s Who of the MK Acting World! There really is a lot of talent out among the grid roads! Subsequently I don’t really want to single out particular performances for praise too much, because everybody had their moments. The play is also very much designed for an ensemble, as a whole host of different characters rush on and off at various times. Having said that, John Proctor is First Among Ensembles, and Andy Davis gave a spellbinding portrayal of this good-hearted man caught up in the middle of this paranoid storm. It’s a great part to play, but even so his performance was excellent, a stand-out which ranks among the best I’ve ever seen in an MK show! Though I was also very pleased to see Tony back in action on the stage for the first time in ages as the bluntly spoken Giles Corey – and got genuinely upset when in Act Four it was revealed he’d been squashed to death!
If I have any quibble at all, it’s that it was a bit slow getting started – but I can’t work out if that was the performance or the script. There is a bewildering amount of the comings and goings of characters to begin with, as I’ve already mentioned. Certainly by Act Two and the more intimate scene between John and his wife Elizabeth (another good turn by the always impressive Natasha Ellis) I was properly gripped and felt as though things had warmed up – and then Act Three kicks off with the arrival of The Law (Richard Duncombe fabulously cast as the Deputy Governor called in to sort everything out – his stage presence matching effortlessly the authority of his role) and the energy never drops from then on.
So, not only another rave review for Pepper’s Ghost, but a rave review with knobs on. They’ve made me like “The Crucible” again, after two decades in the wilderness. I wonder what else I’ve been wrong about since 1988? Maybe girls don't smell after all!!!
(looks bewildered)
So you can probably estimate my sense of foreboding as I arrived at MADCAP for the latest Pepper’s Ghost production: “The Crucible”. I’d had a long hard day and a tiring week, and I was about to sit for three hours – two whole football games’ worth of time! – and watch one of the few plays I have ever not enjoyed. It's therefore a source of particular pleasure to me to be able to write this review, because it has a happy ending. The production was really really good! (beams with relief)
I dunno if it was my impatient teenage metabolism or just a duff rendition some twenty years ago, but the Pepper’s Ghost “Crucible” turned out to be an engaging play about Real People embroiled in the mass hysteria of – literally – the Witch Hunt mentality. It’s as relevant to society now as it was when Arthur Miller wrote it in the climate of McCarthyism, and a shrewd choice for this always impressive MK theatre bunch to take on – doubly so with its presence on the GCSE syllabus! ;-)
I could see one or two of the GCSE kids start to fidget a bit near the end – even in a good production like this I still think it’s overlong – but it’s testament to both the direction and the vast number of actors involved (21, with no doubling!!) that almost all of them still seemed to be paying attention. Interestingly on the night I saw it some overflow seating had been placed behind the area where the action was taking place, up on the old proscenium stage – and because this was full of the GCSE kids and their notepads, it looked a lot like a jury watching over proceedings from a lofty vantage point! Very apt.
With 21 actors involved, it was like a Who’s Who of the MK Acting World! There really is a lot of talent out among the grid roads! Subsequently I don’t really want to single out particular performances for praise too much, because everybody had their moments. The play is also very much designed for an ensemble, as a whole host of different characters rush on and off at various times. Having said that, John Proctor is First Among Ensembles, and Andy Davis gave a spellbinding portrayal of this good-hearted man caught up in the middle of this paranoid storm. It’s a great part to play, but even so his performance was excellent, a stand-out which ranks among the best I’ve ever seen in an MK show! Though I was also very pleased to see Tony back in action on the stage for the first time in ages as the bluntly spoken Giles Corey – and got genuinely upset when in Act Four it was revealed he’d been squashed to death!
If I have any quibble at all, it’s that it was a bit slow getting started – but I can’t work out if that was the performance or the script. There is a bewildering amount of the comings and goings of characters to begin with, as I’ve already mentioned. Certainly by Act Two and the more intimate scene between John and his wife Elizabeth (another good turn by the always impressive Natasha Ellis) I was properly gripped and felt as though things had warmed up – and then Act Three kicks off with the arrival of The Law (Richard Duncombe fabulously cast as the Deputy Governor called in to sort everything out – his stage presence matching effortlessly the authority of his role) and the energy never drops from then on.
So, not only another rave review for Pepper’s Ghost, but a rave review with knobs on. They’ve made me like “The Crucible” again, after two decades in the wilderness. I wonder what else I’ve been wrong about since 1988? Maybe girls don't smell after all!!!
(looks bewildered)
Wednesday, 22 April 2009
Cheese Fund - Wed Apr 22
I’ve probably only mentioned this in passing so far, but a whole bunch of us* are going on holiday to Brittany at the end of July for a week, and I’m very excited about it. Yet another side-effect of this last week’s summery sunshine I imagine – though I must admit the idea of lounging in the sunshine with literature and cheese for a week is incredibly compelling right about now!
Also, I don’t really go on many holidays. You know me, I’m a penniless writer without even money for trousers blah blah blah, but also I just never seem to get the chance. We went on plenty of holidays as kids within the UK – camping near St.Davids in Pembrokeshire was a particular favourite for years, and I’ve had many a climb in the Lake District – but I’ve only ever actually been abroad on holiday four times in thirty-four years. Phil does that amount in a day, dude! ;-)
1. Denmark (1983)
When I was eight we went on a four-day trip to Denmark, specifically to visit Legoland (before there was one near London!). I don’t really remember that much about it, though there are plenty of photos of The Brothers Taylor running around in matching shorts and that smashing Fashion Of ’83, luminous odd towelling socks. Also, we went there by ferry, which was an overnight crossing, which was quite exciting from what I can recall. I think we watched “Supergirl” in the on-boat cinema.
2. Spain (1994)
When I was nineteen me and my then long-term girlfriend had my first big holiday – ten days in Lloret De Mar, a resort town just up the coast from Barcelona. That was more like it – blazing sunshine, the blue Mediterranean, crazy food, colourful cocktails. Stomach upsets. Gaudi’s Sagrada Familia, and the Nou Camp. And after that I didn’t leave the UK at all in my Twenties. Booo. :-(
3. America (2005)
But this was the holiday of my lifetime. To celebrate me turning 30 (but also cos he really wanted to do it!), my Dad hired a car and the two of us drove round the bottom left-hand corner of the States for three weeks. It was fantastic: LA, the Grand Canyon, Vegas, Death Valley, San Francisco and the Pacific Coast. Desert, snow and salt plains. The changing landscapes and the endless highway miles. Elvis and the Beat Poets. A helicopter ride, baseball and a real life Ghost Town. All the freakin’ food!!! If only all holidays could be as life-changing.
4. Poland (2007)
And of course I mustn’t forget Jim’s Stag Weekend in Krakow. The Fellowship and the Vodka. The Fields Of Birkenau. And the realisation of just how cheap it can be to go on short breaks in Europe these days. So surely I should do more of it.
Anyway, this is why we’re raising money by winning the Slug & Lettuce Pub Quiz every week! Funds for our French holiday! It’s three wins out of three as of last night, and £110 cheese money already in the pot. Diane was the Man Of The Match this time I think, her knowledge of Movie Remakes probably won it for us at the finish (though again I struck it lucky with one of the answers: having just started watching “The Sopranos” for the first ever time I was pleased to be asked for the names of Tony’s two kids!).
The other teams are definitely starting to grumble at our mad trivia skillz though. Probably a good thing we’re giving them a week off next week to go bell-ringing! :-D
* not sure what the collective noun for a nine-strong gang of Monkey Kettle types and associated pals could be: “a spanner”? “a lash-up”? “a drawback”?
Also, I don’t really go on many holidays. You know me, I’m a penniless writer without even money for trousers blah blah blah, but also I just never seem to get the chance. We went on plenty of holidays as kids within the UK – camping near St.Davids in Pembrokeshire was a particular favourite for years, and I’ve had many a climb in the Lake District – but I’ve only ever actually been abroad on holiday four times in thirty-four years. Phil does that amount in a day, dude! ;-)
1. Denmark (1983)
When I was eight we went on a four-day trip to Denmark, specifically to visit Legoland (before there was one near London!). I don’t really remember that much about it, though there are plenty of photos of The Brothers Taylor running around in matching shorts and that smashing Fashion Of ’83, luminous odd towelling socks. Also, we went there by ferry, which was an overnight crossing, which was quite exciting from what I can recall. I think we watched “Supergirl” in the on-boat cinema.
2. Spain (1994)
When I was nineteen me and my then long-term girlfriend had my first big holiday – ten days in Lloret De Mar, a resort town just up the coast from Barcelona. That was more like it – blazing sunshine, the blue Mediterranean, crazy food, colourful cocktails. Stomach upsets. Gaudi’s Sagrada Familia, and the Nou Camp. And after that I didn’t leave the UK at all in my Twenties. Booo. :-(
3. America (2005)
But this was the holiday of my lifetime. To celebrate me turning 30 (but also cos he really wanted to do it!), my Dad hired a car and the two of us drove round the bottom left-hand corner of the States for three weeks. It was fantastic: LA, the Grand Canyon, Vegas, Death Valley, San Francisco and the Pacific Coast. Desert, snow and salt plains. The changing landscapes and the endless highway miles. Elvis and the Beat Poets. A helicopter ride, baseball and a real life Ghost Town. All the freakin’ food!!! If only all holidays could be as life-changing.
4. Poland (2007)
And of course I mustn’t forget Jim’s Stag Weekend in Krakow. The Fellowship and the Vodka. The Fields Of Birkenau. And the realisation of just how cheap it can be to go on short breaks in Europe these days. So surely I should do more of it.
Anyway, this is why we’re raising money by winning the Slug & Lettuce Pub Quiz every week! Funds for our French holiday! It’s three wins out of three as of last night, and £110 cheese money already in the pot. Diane was the Man Of The Match this time I think, her knowledge of Movie Remakes probably won it for us at the finish (though again I struck it lucky with one of the answers: having just started watching “The Sopranos” for the first ever time I was pleased to be asked for the names of Tony’s two kids!).
The other teams are definitely starting to grumble at our mad trivia skillz though. Probably a good thing we’re giving them a week off next week to go bell-ringing! :-D
* not sure what the collective noun for a nine-strong gang of Monkey Kettle types and associated pals could be: “a spanner”? “a lash-up”? “a drawback”?
Tuesday, 21 April 2009
Minuted Actions From The Previous Stress Headache - Tue Apr 21
T’is true. This Blog has forgotten the face of its father. There hasn’t been any Lazy Generalisation Half-Disguised As Socio-Political Analysis for weeks, months – let alone any Wistful Reminiscing About The Olden Days Of MK. There’s been scant mention of the History Of Milton Keynes & District which I promised would be a through line for 2009.
I’ve barely even shared with you any of my Confessions Of A Fantasist Moments From (Sur)Real Life – like this morning when I was striding through the Roman ruins at Bancroft and a snowstorm of blossom filled the air around me while my mp3 player swelled Rob D’s “Clubbed To Death”* from The Matrix through my brain.
But all that’s going to change. Yes, so Being An MK Arts Guy circa 2009 seems to be all about The Meetings, but we’re coming up to May. And May is Matthew’s Birthday Month. A whole month where I try my level damndest to only do things I Actually Want To Do. Let’s see how The Meetings deal with my Birthday Month! Hopefully they won’t know what’s hit ‘em! ;-)
It’s funny, actually. I’m not sure why my spirit baulks so at the idea of Meetings. Maybe it’s that I equate Meetings with my Day Job; Meetings are part of the Bureaucracy of the Large System, not the Studio Floor of The Arts. I know we would never have got such a massive project as MonKeyVision off the ground and as honed as it was without having months’ worth of Meetings, but even so I could feel myself not enjoying them half the time, just cos they were Meetings.
Yesterday I had three Meetings up at the City within the space of six hours. They were all for noble causes, things I have openly and freely volunteered my time for (Korfstock 2009, the next leg of the Monkey Kettle Street Names Tour, and the MK Arts Association Literature Panel**) – and two of the three Meetings did contain food in restaurants – but I still couldn’t shake the vague sense I was in the wrong place. Meeting to talk about things when I could be doing them.
I know this is something I have to get over. Some Meetings are necessary. Some can even be ace. Even sometimes when you’re having a Meeting and all the people in it are just your mates – it can still be a Meeting and not be awkward, a weird situation. But I am glad too that I’ve got a bit of free time coming up over the next few weeks. I may be about to be 34 years of age and hip-deep in various local arts panels and boards, but I never want to lose the right to reserve time for myself to take time out from all that to learn about bell-ringing, to try and compose a Monkey Kettle Peal... (don’t ask – details hopefully coming very soon! Not the next direction you expected us to go, was it? We move in erratic orbit)
Plus, walking the redways! And local history! And music and theatre and words! Back to basics. Meeting adjourned. I declare the summer open.
(wanders off into the sunshine)
(oh no! a wasp!)
(flaps hands in frantic panic)
* And while we’re at it, who SAYS Classical Music is dead? Flippin CHOON! ;-)
** Interestingly enough, MKAA (http://www.mk-arts.co.uk/) is about to be re-launched in a fortnight or so, renamed and rebranded as Arts Gateway MK. I bet THAT decision was taken in a Meeting!
I’ve barely even shared with you any of my Confessions Of A Fantasist Moments From (Sur)Real Life – like this morning when I was striding through the Roman ruins at Bancroft and a snowstorm of blossom filled the air around me while my mp3 player swelled Rob D’s “Clubbed To Death”* from The Matrix through my brain.
But all that’s going to change. Yes, so Being An MK Arts Guy circa 2009 seems to be all about The Meetings, but we’re coming up to May. And May is Matthew’s Birthday Month. A whole month where I try my level damndest to only do things I Actually Want To Do. Let’s see how The Meetings deal with my Birthday Month! Hopefully they won’t know what’s hit ‘em! ;-)
It’s funny, actually. I’m not sure why my spirit baulks so at the idea of Meetings. Maybe it’s that I equate Meetings with my Day Job; Meetings are part of the Bureaucracy of the Large System, not the Studio Floor of The Arts. I know we would never have got such a massive project as MonKeyVision off the ground and as honed as it was without having months’ worth of Meetings, but even so I could feel myself not enjoying them half the time, just cos they were Meetings.
Yesterday I had three Meetings up at the City within the space of six hours. They were all for noble causes, things I have openly and freely volunteered my time for (Korfstock 2009, the next leg of the Monkey Kettle Street Names Tour, and the MK Arts Association Literature Panel**) – and two of the three Meetings did contain food in restaurants – but I still couldn’t shake the vague sense I was in the wrong place. Meeting to talk about things when I could be doing them.
I know this is something I have to get over. Some Meetings are necessary. Some can even be ace. Even sometimes when you’re having a Meeting and all the people in it are just your mates – it can still be a Meeting and not be awkward, a weird situation. But I am glad too that I’ve got a bit of free time coming up over the next few weeks. I may be about to be 34 years of age and hip-deep in various local arts panels and boards, but I never want to lose the right to reserve time for myself to take time out from all that to learn about bell-ringing, to try and compose a Monkey Kettle Peal... (don’t ask – details hopefully coming very soon! Not the next direction you expected us to go, was it? We move in erratic orbit)
Plus, walking the redways! And local history! And music and theatre and words! Back to basics. Meeting adjourned. I declare the summer open.
(wanders off into the sunshine)
(oh no! a wasp!)
(flaps hands in frantic panic)
* And while we’re at it, who SAYS Classical Music is dead? Flippin CHOON! ;-)
** Interestingly enough, MKAA (http://www.mk-arts.co.uk/) is about to be re-launched in a fortnight or so, renamed and rebranded as Arts Gateway MK. I bet THAT decision was taken in a Meeting!
Friday, 17 April 2009
[ - ]
My favourite thing so far about the new bus stop electronic signs (remember how excited I got!) is that the ones at the OU just say "Refer to timetable" on them. Man, we're living in the future! Imagine a world where there are expensive electronic signs to direct you to the tatty paper timetables in the bus stops!!! :-D
Hey - all-new content in The Dudebox for the first time in a while! Still nothing from The Masticator though. He's either Dead or Over It.
Hey - all-new content in The Dudebox for the first time in a while! Still nothing from The Masticator though. He's either Dead or Over It.
Thursday, 16 April 2009
Hats Off To Larry - Thu Apr 16
I’d be among the first to criticise them if they dropped the ball, so I guess it’s only fair and right that I should big up Milton Keynes Council for their swift and simple responses to my various key problems this week. When I phoned the Buildings Emergency Line on (Bank Holiday!!) Monday, the man came within the hour to retrieve my key shard from the lock. And even though I only emailed them about it yesterday morning, I had a replacement key of my very own in my hands by teatime. Genuinely good skills. Makes the seemingly ginormous size of my Council Tax bill seem a little bit more reasonable. ;-)
It was interesting actually, visiting Lee in Luton last week – quite apart from catching up with the smashing wee fella. As we’ve seen quite a few times since I started this oft-tiresome blog, Luton and MK are of roughly comparable sizes, and are nearish neighbours to boot, so I find it curious to compare and contrast; even (yes!) on such a superficial level as a flying visit like this was.
One thing Luton is relatively famous for is the high density of Asian / Asian British population – 19.3% of the total population as opposed to MK’s 4.7%, which is even below the national average of 5.3%. MK feels like a pretty diverse place, especially when you’re in the queue in Fishermead Co-Op, but we ain’t got nuthin’ on Luton – where only 68% of the population is “White” compared to MK’s 88%*.
But that has its own connected issues. I definitely saw more evidence of racially-based graffiti on my short visit than you’d see in Milton Keynes in the same stint – though I s’pose it does depend where you’re looking. But also on the main street up from town to where Lee lives we came across a huge pile of inflammatory pamphlets dumped in the road. Last month there were scenes of violence as anti-war protestors demonstrated at a homecoming parade for returning local soldiers from Iraq. These pamphlets appeared to be the work of the Far Right stirring up anti-anti-war protestor sentiment, extremely unpleasant literature.
I’m not really making any insightful socio-journalistic points though. Just saying what I saw, really. As is my wont. There were plenty of good things there too which we don’t have in the Mirror City. We spent about half an hour in a second-hand record shop, crammed full of old 7”s and LPs. I bought a badge for 50p just because it had the hilariously misspelt emblem “Fields Of The Nephilin” on it.
Luton is also very much a Football Town. Last week the Hatters were relegated out of the Football League for the first time in 89 years – bleak times, yet the club’s colours were everywhere round the town centre – on posters, in shops, and worn by people. Later, we downed a few pints in Lee’s local, a dedicated Luton Town pub. We don’t have any Dons pubs yet, to the best of my knowledge.
And the hills… Okay – so we’ve got plenty of contours, but very few of them seem so high, or have houses sprinkled on the side of them in the same way. Or maybe it was the misty rainy-spattered day. Mind you, we still beat Luton hands-down for green, of course. Yeah. Like we beat most places. (beams with civic pride)
* All stats from the Office of National Statistics 2005 Survey, if you’re counting.
It was interesting actually, visiting Lee in Luton last week – quite apart from catching up with the smashing wee fella. As we’ve seen quite a few times since I started this oft-tiresome blog, Luton and MK are of roughly comparable sizes, and are nearish neighbours to boot, so I find it curious to compare and contrast; even (yes!) on such a superficial level as a flying visit like this was.
One thing Luton is relatively famous for is the high density of Asian / Asian British population – 19.3% of the total population as opposed to MK’s 4.7%, which is even below the national average of 5.3%. MK feels like a pretty diverse place, especially when you’re in the queue in Fishermead Co-Op, but we ain’t got nuthin’ on Luton – where only 68% of the population is “White” compared to MK’s 88%*.
But that has its own connected issues. I definitely saw more evidence of racially-based graffiti on my short visit than you’d see in Milton Keynes in the same stint – though I s’pose it does depend where you’re looking. But also on the main street up from town to where Lee lives we came across a huge pile of inflammatory pamphlets dumped in the road. Last month there were scenes of violence as anti-war protestors demonstrated at a homecoming parade for returning local soldiers from Iraq. These pamphlets appeared to be the work of the Far Right stirring up anti-anti-war protestor sentiment, extremely unpleasant literature.
I’m not really making any insightful socio-journalistic points though. Just saying what I saw, really. As is my wont. There were plenty of good things there too which we don’t have in the Mirror City. We spent about half an hour in a second-hand record shop, crammed full of old 7”s and LPs. I bought a badge for 50p just because it had the hilariously misspelt emblem “Fields Of The Nephilin” on it.
Luton is also very much a Football Town. Last week the Hatters were relegated out of the Football League for the first time in 89 years – bleak times, yet the club’s colours were everywhere round the town centre – on posters, in shops, and worn by people. Later, we downed a few pints in Lee’s local, a dedicated Luton Town pub. We don’t have any Dons pubs yet, to the best of my knowledge.
And the hills… Okay – so we’ve got plenty of contours, but very few of them seem so high, or have houses sprinkled on the side of them in the same way. Or maybe it was the misty rainy-spattered day. Mind you, we still beat Luton hands-down for green, of course. Yeah. Like we beat most places. (beams with civic pride)
* All stats from the Office of National Statistics 2005 Survey, if you’re counting.
Tuesday, 14 April 2009
A Tired Poet Muses Blandly On The Nature Of Causal Events - Tue Apr 14
It was about 7.53am this morning that I was sat watching the man wind the huge tower clock in the City Centre and musing on the nature of time and interrelated events. Coincidences if you prefer - but coincidences like a chain. He was having to strain every muscle in his arms to wind the mechanism – like someone heaving on the turn of a canal lock wheel. It’s a big clock, after all.
Why was I up at the City before 8 in the morning, waiting for WHSmiths to open (at half eight! I was sure it used to open insanely early, like 7am, to sell papers to commuters – or did I dream it?)?
Because yesterday my key snapped off in the lock. And so even though I managed to get an emergency Council repair man to come out on a bank holiday and retrieve the tiny slice of key so that everyone else in the block could get in and out, my own front door key to the building is out of action. So I had to go and buy envelopes and stamps for Monkey Kettle #31 posting before Helen left for work taking the only functioning key with her.
And why did my key snap off in the lock? Because about ten minutes earlier I’d been in a car crash.
I was in a taxi on my way back from Wolverton, mid-morning Bank Holiday Monday, and was lost in various thoughts (mainly about Turkey Burgers for lunch) when all of a sudden I (and presumably the driver) noticed that the car in front of us on the roundabout was coming across into the lane we were occupying. We can’t have been going that fast, because I definitely remember having time to think “hmm... THAT’S not particularly good lane discipline” before we crunched into the back end and came to an abrupt stop in the middle of the roundabout.
But it was clearly fast enough to make a right old crumpled mess of the back of the car in front and the front wing of my taxi. The driver and the girl who turned out to be the driver of the car in front then began one of those panicky arguments which often occur in this situation where no-one wants to be the first one to admit culpability. I sat in the back trying not to get involved and wondering how I was going to get off the roundabout alive – little suspecting at this stage that although I hadn’t really felt much on impact other than a hefty jolt, somehow or other my front door key was now bent out of shape!
And why was I on my way back from Wolverton in a taxi? Cos I’d had to go and drop off the keys for MADCAP first thing cos I hadn’t done it on Sunday. And why hadn’t I done it on Sunday? Cos I’d been at Eggfest, displaying such various talents as list-writing, egg-rolling and bad balance on slippery surfaces. And why did I have the keys at all? Cos Saturday was the Poetry Kapow! and I was in charge of MADCAP for the night. And a good night it was too. “Dude, you’ve got the keys and the alarm code. It’s like there’s NO grown ups here at all to supervise us!”, observed Phil at one point.
And why was I in charge of MADCAP for the night? Cos I’d agreed as a favour to Tony so he could go away for the weekend. So he could have some time. I donated my time to The Cause. And was happy so to do, and will again. All I’m saying is when giving of your time, make sure you have one eye on the chain. Clocks, keys, cars, keys, time. Happy Easter. ;-)
Why was I up at the City before 8 in the morning, waiting for WHSmiths to open (at half eight! I was sure it used to open insanely early, like 7am, to sell papers to commuters – or did I dream it?)?
Because yesterday my key snapped off in the lock. And so even though I managed to get an emergency Council repair man to come out on a bank holiday and retrieve the tiny slice of key so that everyone else in the block could get in and out, my own front door key to the building is out of action. So I had to go and buy envelopes and stamps for Monkey Kettle #31 posting before Helen left for work taking the only functioning key with her.
And why did my key snap off in the lock? Because about ten minutes earlier I’d been in a car crash.
I was in a taxi on my way back from Wolverton, mid-morning Bank Holiday Monday, and was lost in various thoughts (mainly about Turkey Burgers for lunch) when all of a sudden I (and presumably the driver) noticed that the car in front of us on the roundabout was coming across into the lane we were occupying. We can’t have been going that fast, because I definitely remember having time to think “hmm... THAT’S not particularly good lane discipline” before we crunched into the back end and came to an abrupt stop in the middle of the roundabout.
But it was clearly fast enough to make a right old crumpled mess of the back of the car in front and the front wing of my taxi. The driver and the girl who turned out to be the driver of the car in front then began one of those panicky arguments which often occur in this situation where no-one wants to be the first one to admit culpability. I sat in the back trying not to get involved and wondering how I was going to get off the roundabout alive – little suspecting at this stage that although I hadn’t really felt much on impact other than a hefty jolt, somehow or other my front door key was now bent out of shape!
And why was I on my way back from Wolverton in a taxi? Cos I’d had to go and drop off the keys for MADCAP first thing cos I hadn’t done it on Sunday. And why hadn’t I done it on Sunday? Cos I’d been at Eggfest, displaying such various talents as list-writing, egg-rolling and bad balance on slippery surfaces. And why did I have the keys at all? Cos Saturday was the Poetry Kapow! and I was in charge of MADCAP for the night. And a good night it was too. “Dude, you’ve got the keys and the alarm code. It’s like there’s NO grown ups here at all to supervise us!”, observed Phil at one point.
And why was I in charge of MADCAP for the night? Cos I’d agreed as a favour to Tony so he could go away for the weekend. So he could have some time. I donated my time to The Cause. And was happy so to do, and will again. All I’m saying is when giving of your time, make sure you have one eye on the chain. Clocks, keys, cars, keys, time. Happy Easter. ;-)
Thursday, 9 April 2009
[ - ]
Following up a wee bit on the latest from the last couple of days re: astounding MK news story the “Battle of Broughton”, you may be surprised and astounded to learn that it’s the Daily Mail who just wouldn’t let it lie – this column describes Street View as an “encyclopaedia for the burgling fraternity” and refers to Google as “Snooper Command”. I can almost hear Andy’s teeth gnashing all the way over in Oxford. On the other hand, this Times columnist took a more whimsical approach, and all the better it is for it.
Meanwhile in the small village of Abbots Langley near Watford (looks to side camera and shrugs, bewildered, then turns back to main camera) a local Neighbourhood Watch group have hailed the Stout Folke Of Broughton and made it clear to Snooper Command that they won’t be brooking any of this nonsense in their pleasant slice of Little England either. Though I think the article makes the good point that I’m not sure Abbots Langley was next on Google’s list anyway…
Happy Easter Comrades. Keep fighting the good fight.
Meanwhile in the small village of Abbots Langley near Watford (looks to side camera and shrugs, bewildered, then turns back to main camera) a local Neighbourhood Watch group have hailed the Stout Folke Of Broughton and made it clear to Snooper Command that they won’t be brooking any of this nonsense in their pleasant slice of Little England either. Though I think the article makes the good point that I’m not sure Abbots Langley was next on Google’s list anyway…
Happy Easter Comrades. Keep fighting the good fight.
Wednesday, 8 April 2009
Absinthe Is Made From Wormwood - Wed Apr 8
So… if you’ll allow me the conceit, a review of our historic Pub Quiz Victory in the style of football analysis. Thus I redress the balance – Trivia counterweighs Sport and I can feel better about myself again already! ;-)
In a three-way tie, Monkey Kettle Utd ran out easy winners in the end. Their team, packed with experience and tactical nous, were able to utilise those skills in the face of younger, fitter opposition. They made a strong start and after the first couple of rounds it was going to take a cock-up of epic proportion to allow the other teams back into it – but despite that, the Monkey Kettlers held their nerve and their pints and made it to the final whistle without scoring any own goals.
There was quality all through the team. The strong defence of Thomson and Amyes provided a solid bedrock for the more creative talents of Edwards and Hainsworth to attempt the odd piece of silky skill – stepovers, flicks and answers about Vincent Van Gogh. Amyes’ knowledge of Sports That Aren’t Football proved an added bonus early in the second half. And in the centre of the park, the big number 8 m m Taylor worked the channels fantastically – proving especially adept at Writing Things Down Neatly!
You have the sense that there could be more to come from them though – perhaps up against stronger or more numerous opposition they’d need to raise their game somewhat – but this is definitely a good start to their Summer Holiday Spending Money Fund-Raising Campaign. Played one, won one. £30 in the kitty. I think they’ll be working on Flags Of The World in training though – who knew that Libya have a flag that’s entirely green? Not them!
Other highlights you can see on Match Of The Day tonight, being analysed expertly by Messrs Lawrenson and Hanson:
SE: “That man over there is using his mobile phone!”
SE & DH (outraged, to Quizmaster Baddiel): “He’s using his mobile phone! He’s using his mobile phone!”
Quizmaster Baddiel: “Can you put your phone away mate?”
Bloke (sheepish): “Sorry… I was just sending an email.”
Quizmaster Baddiel: “What shape is the variety of pasta called Conchiglie?”
MMT (excitedly to team-mates): “I had Conchiglie for DINNER!!! Shell-shaped!!!”
Monkey Kettle team line-up: B Amyes; S Edwards; D Hainsworth; C Thomson; M Taylor
In a three-way tie, Monkey Kettle Utd ran out easy winners in the end. Their team, packed with experience and tactical nous, were able to utilise those skills in the face of younger, fitter opposition. They made a strong start and after the first couple of rounds it was going to take a cock-up of epic proportion to allow the other teams back into it – but despite that, the Monkey Kettlers held their nerve and their pints and made it to the final whistle without scoring any own goals.
There was quality all through the team. The strong defence of Thomson and Amyes provided a solid bedrock for the more creative talents of Edwards and Hainsworth to attempt the odd piece of silky skill – stepovers, flicks and answers about Vincent Van Gogh. Amyes’ knowledge of Sports That Aren’t Football proved an added bonus early in the second half. And in the centre of the park, the big number 8 m m Taylor worked the channels fantastically – proving especially adept at Writing Things Down Neatly!
You have the sense that there could be more to come from them though – perhaps up against stronger or more numerous opposition they’d need to raise their game somewhat – but this is definitely a good start to their Summer Holiday Spending Money Fund-Raising Campaign. Played one, won one. £30 in the kitty. I think they’ll be working on Flags Of The World in training though – who knew that Libya have a flag that’s entirely green? Not them!
Other highlights you can see on Match Of The Day tonight, being analysed expertly by Messrs Lawrenson and Hanson:
SE: “That man over there is using his mobile phone!”
SE & DH (outraged, to Quizmaster Baddiel): “He’s using his mobile phone! He’s using his mobile phone!”
Quizmaster Baddiel: “Can you put your phone away mate?”
Bloke (sheepish): “Sorry… I was just sending an email.”
Quizmaster Baddiel: “What shape is the variety of pasta called Conchiglie?”
MMT (excitedly to team-mates): “I had Conchiglie for DINNER!!! Shell-shaped!!!”
Monkey Kettle team line-up: B Amyes; S Edwards; D Hainsworth; C Thomson; M Taylor
Tuesday, 7 April 2009
Bad Day - Tue Apr 7
I am having the worst fucking day. I just thought I’d share, so that the legions of new readers who’ve joined us at this juncture because of my new-found “media stardom” know it’s not all easy being MMT. Like you’d think.
At lunchtime I discovered that my footballing prowess is now so non-existent that I can’t even score a goal in a 7-1 victory over a team of girls* and sixty-something Science professors – despite three opportunities which we describe in the business as “gilt-edged” or “open goals”.
And now I’ve just come back from attempting to give blood – I say attempting because of course my blood’s no good to them... cos I’ve only been off the antibiotics for my gum infection for nine days! Of course! So not only can I not score a simple tap-in in a work-based football tournament, I can’t even save any lives!
So now it’s all on the Pub Quiz. My body may no longer respond in any constructive physical sense to the instructions of my brain, and my blood may be tainted, but I still gots one thing left. Yes. The ability to retain facts of little or no practical use for everyday life!! Or what we describe in the business as "trivia". Consisting of facts stored, as everyone knows, in that part of the brain known as Taylor’s Area.
So nobody better get in my way tonight (in the first of our regular attempts to win Holiday Fund money at the new Slug & Lettuce Quiz Nights)!! I am spoiling for a trivia rumble. It’s the only way I can salvage this day. Game on!
(beats forehead in primeval fashion)
* No offence to girls, of course. I wish I was as good as a girl. :-(
At lunchtime I discovered that my footballing prowess is now so non-existent that I can’t even score a goal in a 7-1 victory over a team of girls* and sixty-something Science professors – despite three opportunities which we describe in the business as “gilt-edged” or “open goals”.
And now I’ve just come back from attempting to give blood – I say attempting because of course my blood’s no good to them... cos I’ve only been off the antibiotics for my gum infection for nine days! Of course! So not only can I not score a simple tap-in in a work-based football tournament, I can’t even save any lives!
So now it’s all on the Pub Quiz. My body may no longer respond in any constructive physical sense to the instructions of my brain, and my blood may be tainted, but I still gots one thing left. Yes. The ability to retain facts of little or no practical use for everyday life!! Or what we describe in the business as "trivia". Consisting of facts stored, as everyone knows, in that part of the brain known as Taylor’s Area.
So nobody better get in my way tonight (in the first of our regular attempts to win Holiday Fund money at the new Slug & Lettuce Quiz Nights)!! I am spoiling for a trivia rumble. It’s the only way I can salvage this day. Game on!
(beats forehead in primeval fashion)
* No offence to girls, of course. I wish I was as good as a girl. :-(
Monday, 6 April 2009
Reservoir Blogs - Mon Apr 6
Inexplicable & Anachronistic Graffiti Of The Day
(seen in the underpass between the Church and the Council Offices this morning on the way to the bank)
“QUENTIN TARANTINO IS A 1 TIME FAG CHICK WITH A DICK AKA SATAN”
MK Web Plug Of The Day
I’ve been meaning to big up AMPjam.net for a while now, it’s a good site – a much more dedicated (i.e. less laidback!) version of The Dudebox and very much a place to go if you’re keen to explore the local MK music scene. Of course, I’m probably slightly biased today cos their review of MonKeyVision is not only very positive and contains a veritable ruckload of photos from the night, but also they’ve used a great big pic of yours truly to lead the review with! Gor bless yer, AMPjam! In fact, have a Blog link (points to right of page) – probably not worth having a link to The Road To Corm MySpace in this day and age, anyway... ;-)
Well Hello Another Poetic Moment
Walking back down the redway in Fishermead this morning, by Meadfurlong Middle School a cool spring breeze danced through the hedge and a load of white blossom filled the air around me for a few seconds. Like being in a soft fresh snowstorm. I like moments like that. More of them please.
(seen in the underpass between the Church and the Council Offices this morning on the way to the bank)
“QUENTIN TARANTINO IS A 1 TIME FAG CHICK WITH A DICK AKA SATAN”
MK Web Plug Of The Day
I’ve been meaning to big up AMPjam.net for a while now, it’s a good site – a much more dedicated (i.e. less laidback!) version of The Dudebox and very much a place to go if you’re keen to explore the local MK music scene. Of course, I’m probably slightly biased today cos their review of MonKeyVision is not only very positive and contains a veritable ruckload of photos from the night, but also they’ve used a great big pic of yours truly to lead the review with! Gor bless yer, AMPjam! In fact, have a Blog link (points to right of page) – probably not worth having a link to The Road To Corm MySpace in this day and age, anyway... ;-)
Well Hello Another Poetic Moment
Walking back down the redway in Fishermead this morning, by Meadfurlong Middle School a cool spring breeze danced through the hedge and a load of white blossom filled the air around me for a few seconds. Like being in a soft fresh snowstorm. I like moments like that. More of them please.
Friday, 3 April 2009
Spies Like Us - Fri Apr 3
It’s disappointingly rare that we get a local news story which snowballs and makes the national (and international!) press, so I thought I’d celebrate by having a Friday afternoon look at the “Battle Of Broughton”.*
The story – local residents up in arms as the infamous Google Street View vehicle came cruising round their neighbourhood taking snaps for the mammoth online project - hit the MK Citizen first, with MK News not far behind – according to my Google Alerts anyway! And yes, I’m meta-aware of the irony of watching this story unfold via Google Alerts! ;-) Also, while I don’t particularly have a problem with Google Street View in an “encroaching of public civil liberties” kind of way, I can’t believe they didn’t see this coming.
I guess Google’s partially suffering from the recent massive publicity Street View has generated – it was only a matter of weeks ago that it really swamped the news, though there have been protests previously of course. In Japan before Christmas, and right here in the UK even before Broughtongate** happened – Google’s head honcho echoing the same point that the project is a victim of its own success.
As you might have predicted, it was the Daily Mail who were first of the national press on the scene – and boy, can they make an agitated chirruping! :-D The description of the incident now sounded like a full-on lynching of the Man from Google by noble Englanders making an honourable stand against the insidious forces of darkness! (see also most other articles in any random issue of the Mail on any given day). Though, while I think on't - presumably the photos right there on the Mail website, in which you can clearly see into the residents' homes, are not the work of similar dark forces? Hmm...
Meanwhile the BBC coverage was of course more measured, and had some interesting quotes from a local councillor. And the article on the Fox News site, co-opted from the Times I think, has Broughton as a “small village” near Milton Keynes! Yeah, nice try, “local residents”. Why not check where you live on Google Maps first? ;-)
On balance, I’ve read some interesting arguments on both sides on the Blogs about this. One of the most cogent (and probably closest to my own viewpoint) is “what’s the big deal, really? Is there anything worse on Google Street View – which is also in most cases many months out of date, not live – than you could get from just walking down the same street looking over people’s hedges?” Y’know, if you’re going to case the joint you might as well do it “Live”. Or would that leave burglars at risk from the CCTV cameras that somehow the same residents support and rely on in order to keep their homes safe? A BBC blog on the matter has one or two particularly erudite / scornful opinions in the Comments section. Though I have a feeling that these (and indeed this) are just the tip of the Blogberg. ;-)
Sadly we weren’t quick enough off the mark to do Simon’s ingenious plan of rushing round MK to the locations of the Monkey Kettle Street Name photos and re-enacting them live to be forever preserved on Google Street View. That would have been funny though. But as we didn’t manage to do that, have a butcher’s at this picture instead. That’s funny enough to end on. Or this selection of amusing Street View images, which Google have positively encouraged (#11, Sad Builder, is my fave). Fight the power, don’t fight comedy. Know the difference.
* Don’t forget (or Caz will stab me up) – “BRAW-ton”. Not “Brow-ton” or, heaven forfend, “Broof-ton”. ;-)
** A little in-joke for us MK map-hags here – the new development which has ALSO upset “local residents” is CALLED Broughton Gate! Har har har.
The story – local residents up in arms as the infamous Google Street View vehicle came cruising round their neighbourhood taking snaps for the mammoth online project - hit the MK Citizen first, with MK News not far behind – according to my Google Alerts anyway! And yes, I’m meta-aware of the irony of watching this story unfold via Google Alerts! ;-) Also, while I don’t particularly have a problem with Google Street View in an “encroaching of public civil liberties” kind of way, I can’t believe they didn’t see this coming.
I guess Google’s partially suffering from the recent massive publicity Street View has generated – it was only a matter of weeks ago that it really swamped the news, though there have been protests previously of course. In Japan before Christmas, and right here in the UK even before Broughtongate** happened – Google’s head honcho echoing the same point that the project is a victim of its own success.
As you might have predicted, it was the Daily Mail who were first of the national press on the scene – and boy, can they make an agitated chirruping! :-D The description of the incident now sounded like a full-on lynching of the Man from Google by noble Englanders making an honourable stand against the insidious forces of darkness! (see also most other articles in any random issue of the Mail on any given day). Though, while I think on't - presumably the photos right there on the Mail website, in which you can clearly see into the residents' homes, are not the work of similar dark forces? Hmm...
Meanwhile the BBC coverage was of course more measured, and had some interesting quotes from a local councillor. And the article on the Fox News site, co-opted from the Times I think, has Broughton as a “small village” near Milton Keynes! Yeah, nice try, “local residents”. Why not check where you live on Google Maps first? ;-)
On balance, I’ve read some interesting arguments on both sides on the Blogs about this. One of the most cogent (and probably closest to my own viewpoint) is “what’s the big deal, really? Is there anything worse on Google Street View – which is also in most cases many months out of date, not live – than you could get from just walking down the same street looking over people’s hedges?” Y’know, if you’re going to case the joint you might as well do it “Live”. Or would that leave burglars at risk from the CCTV cameras that somehow the same residents support and rely on in order to keep their homes safe? A BBC blog on the matter has one or two particularly erudite / scornful opinions in the Comments section. Though I have a feeling that these (and indeed this) are just the tip of the Blogberg. ;-)
Sadly we weren’t quick enough off the mark to do Simon’s ingenious plan of rushing round MK to the locations of the Monkey Kettle Street Name photos and re-enacting them live to be forever preserved on Google Street View. That would have been funny though. But as we didn’t manage to do that, have a butcher’s at this picture instead. That’s funny enough to end on. Or this selection of amusing Street View images, which Google have positively encouraged (#11, Sad Builder, is my fave). Fight the power, don’t fight comedy. Know the difference.
* Don’t forget (or Caz will stab me up) – “BRAW-ton”. Not “Brow-ton” or, heaven forfend, “Broof-ton”. ;-)
** A little in-joke for us MK map-hags here – the new development which has ALSO upset “local residents” is CALLED Broughton Gate! Har har har.
But Still I'd Rather Be Famous Than Righteous Or Holy Any Day Any Day Any Day - Fri Apr 3
The power of the Local Paper is a funny thing. Y’know… unpredictable like. For example, we must have at least ten mentions in the GO! every year, often with artwork and photos accompanying – and does anyone notice? Barely a soul. And yet bung a generic factfile in the Tuesday Citizen and suddenly everyone I work with is an avid consumer of the MK news press! Ladies I barely come in to contact with on a daily basis are commenting on my “scary picture” and telling me they think it’s great I would like to be a palaeontologist!* Some bloke guesting in the Library 6-a-side team is congratulating me on the coverage! Even customers are looking at me long and hard as if they recognise me from somewhere - but they’re not sure where! ;-)
What this actually is – not that I’m trying to do down what an Ace Local Arts Celebrity I am – is my answers to a generic questionnaire my vague acquaintance Sammy J sent round to a myriad of Local Arts types some months back. So it’s not like I was doorstepped and grilled by Paxman as to my views on Inheritance Tax or anything. But I suppose it was nice to be asked. Plus you know me and how I like the Internet Memes. Great to get a copy of one of those in print! But let’s see first if it boosts our website hits or mag submissions or donations from rich benefactors or anything – then I’ll deem it a success!
It cheered me up a bit, actually, seeing my gurning visage staring back at me from the page as an Arts Somebody. I’d just limped in from a Library 6 A Side game which I can only describe as containing the worst football performance I have ever given in all my born days. And yes, that is saying something!
I just couldn’t do anything. I can’t run at any pace above “Breathless Jog” now... I couldn’t seem to even control a football. Even for me it was a stinker. I was personally responsible for two of the three goals by which we lost – and my Dad had come to watch on his lunch hour. A proper nightmare scenario. The only single thing I did that contributed in any way was to execute a perfectly timed Bobby Moore style sliding tackle on a girl in the opposing team. And it was in the box too, so I had to be extremely precise. But even that didn’t turn out right for me – I made the tackle but have wrenched some muscle in my back in the process. (looks mournful)
I am a flipping liability! Good thing I didn’t get asked about that in my “interview”. ;-)
Some footage already leaking onto YouTube from MonKeyVision – bootleg fan footage of course, but hey, who are we to gripe? I’m sure the Official CD and DVD will still sell like warm cakes! Enjoy!
Disciples of Gonzo
Equinox
Them ‘N’ Er
* If this is you, apologies for using you as an example on my Blog. THAT’LL teach me to advertise the URL to a readership of millions! ;-)
What this actually is – not that I’m trying to do down what an Ace Local Arts Celebrity I am – is my answers to a generic questionnaire my vague acquaintance Sammy J sent round to a myriad of Local Arts types some months back. So it’s not like I was doorstepped and grilled by Paxman as to my views on Inheritance Tax or anything. But I suppose it was nice to be asked. Plus you know me and how I like the Internet Memes. Great to get a copy of one of those in print! But let’s see first if it boosts our website hits or mag submissions or donations from rich benefactors or anything – then I’ll deem it a success!
It cheered me up a bit, actually, seeing my gurning visage staring back at me from the page as an Arts Somebody. I’d just limped in from a Library 6 A Side game which I can only describe as containing the worst football performance I have ever given in all my born days. And yes, that is saying something!
I just couldn’t do anything. I can’t run at any pace above “Breathless Jog” now... I couldn’t seem to even control a football. Even for me it was a stinker. I was personally responsible for two of the three goals by which we lost – and my Dad had come to watch on his lunch hour. A proper nightmare scenario. The only single thing I did that contributed in any way was to execute a perfectly timed Bobby Moore style sliding tackle on a girl in the opposing team. And it was in the box too, so I had to be extremely precise. But even that didn’t turn out right for me – I made the tackle but have wrenched some muscle in my back in the process. (looks mournful)
I am a flipping liability! Good thing I didn’t get asked about that in my “interview”. ;-)
Some footage already leaking onto YouTube from MonKeyVision – bootleg fan footage of course, but hey, who are we to gripe? I’m sure the Official CD and DVD will still sell like warm cakes! Enjoy!
Disciples of Gonzo
Equinox
Them ‘N’ Er
* If this is you, apologies for using you as an example on my Blog. THAT’LL teach me to advertise the URL to a readership of millions! ;-)
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