Spaghetti & Meatballs - Mon May 4

Me and Diane are going on another Long Long Walk in a couple of weeks time, so I’ve been stepping up the redway-trekking again over the Bank Hol weekend. I’m way out of practice, it’s been a long lazy Winter, but the Spring is here. So today I decided to take my mind off the rest of the world again by seeing how long it would take me to walk from our flat to the edge of town. I know, these concepts are getting increasingly one-dimensional. Still… the more I walk, the more ideas about better ideas I’ll have.

I went South – as it turned out not too dissimilar to a walk I did last March, so I definitely am starting to repeat myself now. Well, actually it was more like South-South-East, but who’s counting? Anyone?

First major landmark of note, and coincidentally something I’ve been meaning to look at for some months now, is the ever-growing Milton Keynes Academy which continues to take shape just along from the Woughton Centre in Leadenhall. Colour me dimwitted, but I’d had no idea that Sir Frank Markham School was there abouts, as well as MK College. I mean, I know there’s a school there too, but not that it was Sir Frank Markham. Though not for much longer, I mean. I know.

On paper – well, on web page – the MK Academy looks like it’s got all the right ideas. I’m sure there’s a catch though, like it’s only for posh kids, or Christians, or ginger kids or somethink. I’ll have a confer with those mates who know about local school systems and see what the gist really is. Cos there’s no time to stop and peer over the security fence at the empty construction site today – I’ve got to stride on through Beanhill and the beautiful smell of curry cooking for lunch and onwards.

West Ashland continues to transform from the eerie post-apocalyptic wilderness I excitedly discovered in 2006. It’s no longer even the flattened scrubland of 2008, the immense Dominos Pizza warehouse base is well under way now. And my favourite underpass in MK – blocked up with earth in 2006 and as you’ll see from the photo flooded last year – is now fenced off with tall railings, clearly now the property of the MK Dons and no thoroughfare for walking poets.

By 45 minutes from my door I was at the Mount Farm lake, marvelling at the sheer volume of traffic round this industrial maze end of MK. I mean, Bank Holiday and all, but come on! You could be at the seaside, why waste your time with IKEA and ASDA? How cliched a Bank Holiday activity for all the family is that?

At 53 minutes, standing for ages and waiting to cross a busy road in the none-more-industrial Denbigh East, I suddenly came to my senses and realised “what am I DOING?”. I turned back. I made my way to IKEA. Walk over.

So – I wasn’t far off the southern border at that point, let’s say it was 1 hour 4 minutes. More importantly, my two favourite Bizarre Industrial Units Of The Day? Denbigh East’s “Axe & Status” who may sound like a Viking Political Consultancy but in fact “offer a range of machinery for both metal cutting and general fabrication”; and Denbigh West’s “G.Ryder & Co Ltd” who have apparently been manufacturing the finest “hand-made boxes” since 1914. They should try crossing the H10 at the lights and popping in to IKEA. They do them there well cheap!

Waiting at the bus stop opposite Tesco’s for the #5 home, a bloke recognises me “from a band or something”. We have a chat about the MK music scene, he tells me at length about branching out from dance music into guitar stuff, and I promise to check out his MySpace when I get in. However, it turns out it doesn’t exist…

(looks puzzled)